First of all- apologies for taking so long to blog again... looking for a new home and being sick (only a cold) left me uninspired.
And then, an email arrives and I'm struck with thoughts and feelings. My very first ever boyfriend, who I stayed friends with for years but who then dropped off the face of the earth, has reappeared! He left a message for my father, who passed the email address on to me, and now we're talking. 16 years with not a word... and he's been in Japan and Korea all that time, is married with an 8 year old girl, and about to move back home to Australia. And I'm delighted to hear from him.
But it's made me think a bit about my circle of friends... and how they fade in and out of my life. There's a group of them from high school, who mostly live in Canberra (our nation's capital and possibly the coldest city in Australia) who get together every 5 years to celebrate our collective birthday. The next one is next year and we're going to Australia's snow country in spring (great fishing and wildflowers). There was a group of 18 of us in high school... with partners and hangers-on it looks like about 30-odd will make it to Thredbo. If you want to know what the country looks like, there's a new film out called Jindabyne, based on a Raymond Carver short story "So Much Water..." which is set there. Some of us see each other in the in-between times, but mostly I only see these people every 5 years. Births, deaths, marriages, all happen between get-togethers. But we hang out for a weekend and play silly drinking games and sing Hotel California every 5 years.
My friends tend to move away from me. My best girlfriends - one now lives in Adelaide (1400 kms away) and the other in Brisbane (just under 1000 kms). I recently took a week off and visited them both - but it's not the same as being able to hop in the car and head on over for some really good girl talk.
And there's the ones I let slip away. One friend I cut off for her bad manners. I got sick of apologising for her or feeling embarrassed about her. She used to regularly abuse wait staff - retail staff - nurses - just about anybody she had to deal with. One I was devoted to - and got let down by once too often. And one of my best guy friends - we wrote a screenplay together and had the best time doing it - got married and cut me out, because his wife's jealous of our relationship.
Right now I have a vacancy for a best friend. I get on really well with Mark's last girlfriend - we're great mates - but it might be a little weird. I mean, you need to be able to complain to a best friend about your partner. And it'd be a bit strange if she already knows all his faults! There's a new girl at work I really get on with, but as she works the same news desk as me, getting time off together to actually get to know each other looks to be problematic.
So do I advertise? "Wanted - best friend - must love music and cats and be able to discuss politics books film and wine (but not in a pretentious way)"
What do you think?